Every job in this world has their challenges and “wicked” moments. No exception to Mr. A, a 28 conservative years old Chinese – English translator for Mr. Bob, a 50 years old pervert businessman who is always sneaking to brothel to satisfy his lustful urges.
BUT Mr. Bob does not speak Chinese and that is the part where Mr. A comes into picture. One day…
Scene 1:
Mr. Bob decided to go to SPA (a place commonly associate with men club) in one of the 5 stars hotel with Mr. A. He is hoping to get lucky and the conversation went like this.
Mr. A (C) : Hi, any special service here?
Lady 1 (C) : Yes of course but not for local, only for foreigners. I don’t think you can afford the girls here.
Mr. A (C) : No, not for me! I am helping Mr. Bob to find a right girl. He is a westerner.
Lady 1 (C) : I see this many times, please stop pretending.
Mr. A (C) : No no, I am not pretending. It is really for Mr. Bob.
Lady 1 (C) : So, you are the pimp? Yea, you look like pimp!
Mr. A (C) : No, I am his translator!
Lady 1 (C) : …
Scene 2:
Mr. Bob lost his temper as he was really desperate for girls to release himself. He asked Mr. A, “What takes you so long? I’m in the verge of exploding in my pants!” Mr. A trying to explain the situation but ensured Mr. Bob that everything will be ok.
Mr. A (C) : So, can I get a girl to provide special service to Mr. Bob here?
Lady 1 (C) : Yes, we are offering broad range of services. We also provide good hospitality and I am sure Mr. Bob going to be very pleased. How much can he offers?
Mr. A (E) : How much are you willing to pay? The lady asked.
Mr. Bob (E) : I am willing to pay any amount but I don’t like wearing protection. Less feel and I hate it.
Mr. A (C) : Miss, Mr. Bob willing to pay any amount but do not want protection.
Lady 1 (C) : All girls here are cleaned and clients must wear protection.
Mr. A (C) : But he is willing to offer any amount. Just give him what he wants. It will be better if anyone got AIDS
Lady 2 (C) : Ok, I need money badly, so I will do it!
Mr. A (C) : Ok, the just go to room 1234 and he will be waiting for you.
Lady 1 (C) : So, you are the PIMP, right?
Mr. A (C) : …
Scene 3:
Mr. A then walked back to his room and same goes to Mr. Bob. After 10 minutes, Mr. Bob called Mr. A via room-to-room call.
Mr. Bob (E) : Can you please speak to the girl and ask why she turns off all the lights?
Mr. A (E) : Pass me the phone to her.
Mr. A (C) : Hello, why do you turn off all the light?
Lady 2 (C) : I am shy la..
Mr. A (C) : But .. but.. you are Pros******? I thought you have done this a million times? Can you dim the light? He wants to see you in “action” !
Lady 2 (C) : Ok, I will dim the light then. Can I call you if I have problems or don’t hang up the phone?
Mr. A (C) : … (slam the phone down)
Scene 4:
Five minutes later, the phone rings again. This time the Lady 2 called and screaming hysterically.
Lady 2 (C) : Arrrhhh!!! .. I cannot take it.
Mr. A (C) : Don’t call me while you are the midst of enjoying.
Lady 2 (C) : No no, we haven’t started yet. I don’t think I can do it.
Mr. A (C) : What happen? Did he violate you too roughly?
Lady 2 (C) : No.. his body is full with hair, very long and disgusting hair.
Mr. A (C) : Why not you just do it and leave the soonest? Don’t even look at it.
Lady 2 (C) : Can you come and help me? At least ask him to shave?
Mr. A (C) : No! .. (slam the phone again)
To be continued … (as it is slightly long)
Remarks:
(C) – Conversation in Chinese
(E) – Conversation in English
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Laxative is a type of drugs to induce bowel movements or to simulate the evacuation of faeces (stool in layman’s term). In other words it is taken to treat constipation.
Sometimes, you can find natural laxative in your everyday consumption. You will find it more frequent if you visit unhygienic restaurants. If you are not aware, the frequency increases if you are inChina.
Mom once told me, “Dirty Eat, Dirty Fat” (this is a direct translation from Hokkiens means eat anything that is clean or dirty and you will still survive). So, without hesitation, I hop into this restaurant.
This is one of the many seafood restaurants inDalian. Dalian is another province in China which is famous with seafood such as abalone, sea cucumber, scallops etc. So, don’t be surprise if you see many seafood restaurants over here.
Is this one of the famous one over here? I don’t think so although the waitresses keep claiming that they are the best! This kind of hype is very common due to the local competition or I called it “Just another marketing gimmick”.
I did not order seafood because I do not want to get slaughter for no reason. I ordered seaweed with potatoes and cabbage with rice noodles instead. Although I tried to avoid seafood, it seems like every dishes over here taste slightly fishy.
Generally, the food is not very impressive. So, why I write about it? Well, I just like to give you a feel about what are the local food looks like here.
Wait a minute, when I say the food is not very impressive, I am not 100% honest. When I said I did not order seafood, I am not 100% honest too. I did order seafood… An Abalone Rice..
With only about RMB 35 (approx. RM 17), You get the whole abalone + broccoli + rice, quite a good deal and taste scrumptiously delicious. Is it genuine abalone? It looks like real to me, but who cares, as long as it is edible and cheap, right?
Now, comes the crust of the whole post, did I get stomachache or diarrhea after that? The answer is NO! This is because of my long years of practicing my stomach. Generally my stomach is tallied for harsh environment 
. What about yours?
Dalian Seafood Restaurant
GPS: (you did not miss anything.. if you cannot find this restaurant )
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Midas, a legendry Greek King who is famous with his touch, the Midas Touch which literally changes everything he touches to gold. On the other hand, Angharad, in The Maiden of the Melting Touch melts everything that she ever touches.
Have you ever wonder, how did Midas wears his clothes? Or worse still when he pee? Does that mean he only wears one set of gold clothes in his entire life? Or having Gold Pe…?
What about Angharad? She is naked all the time? And she never tried solid food? She never tried blow J…? Ouch..
What if Midas hold Angharad hand, will Angharad turns into gold statue or will Midas melts? Reading those fairy tales make me wonder, how can I even believed the stories did exist. Silly “younger” me.
I do not have answer to all the questions but I only know there is one thing that don’t melt in your hand, not even in Angharad hand.. and that is ….
M&M ! They only melt in your mouth, not in your hand! I bet everyone already knows about this and it is nothing new. BUT did you know M&M just setup M&M’s World in London?
Aha.. M&M’s World is located in Leicester Square. This is 35000 square ft store is one of the biggest candy store in the world that sells M&M products and merchandise.
Kids love this place and no exception to girls too. For young people like me, I feel younger the moment when I step in the store. If Angharad touch can melts anything she touches, M&M definitely melts my heart even without touching.
Girl loves cute merchandise and so do I! Kids love bright color and noise and so do I too! Cool souvenirs are available here ranging from t-shirts, mug, bowl, soft toys etc. Tourists definitely love it!
As for me, I found this special M&M in huge cylindrical glass. What so special about it? Normally, you only get few colors but this M&M has 24 colors! You might think it is just coloring but hey, it is really attractive, k?
With only £ 15, you get chicken taste, pork taste, shrimp taste and all other taste M&M. Nah.. I am just pulling your leg. All these 24 colors M&M taste the same .
However, in this store, you can buy milk chocolate, dark chocolate, crisped rice, mint chocolate, peanuts, almonds, orange chocolate, coconut, pretzel, wild cherry, and peanut butter M&M. Awesome isn’t it? Visit here if you happen to be there one day!
M&M’s World London
Located inLeicester Square
1 Swiss Court,London,
United Kingdom
TEL: +44 (0) 207-025-7171
GPS: 51.51124,-0.128231
Web: www.mymms.com
Opening Hours: Mon – Sat: 10am – Midnight, Sun: 12pm – 6pm
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Have you ever wonder what is “i” on iPhone, iTouch, iPad etc? Is “i” refers to me as in the speaker/writer, intelligent, idiot, indigenous or whatever that is related to “i”? Let me think.. it must be intelligent because I feel slight intelligent when I use iPhone.
Eh.. but sometime, I feel slightly idiot wor. Don’t ask me why because I also wonder why. One thing for sure is the word “i” make me feel belonging and a little cooler. hehe..
“i” become such a trend nowadays that anything related to “i” signify modern, young, trendy. iTea is one of it but iTea is not a gadget. It is a modern dessert shop, a snowflakes alike shop.
This shop caught my attention when I see a very long queue of customer, the longer the better when comes to desserts. I went to genuine Snowflakes during Bloggers’ Gathering at Pavillion KL and ate shaved ice in Mill Wheel Ice Cafe but this shop is slightly above all.
What I love most about this place is the interior design. It is just a simple shop with white as the prime color. It gives me a calm feeling and white in China is very rare as it is hard to maintain.
The simplicity and well maintain corner prove that this marketing strategy works. Order and pay for your drinks when you enter the shop, < 5 mins later, the dessert is served and you can dine in clinically clean environment. To protect the ‘secret ingredient’, the dessert will be prepared in a non-visible corner. So, I can’t judge if everything is 100% clean.
If you that consider snowflakes is good, this is 3 – 4 times better. From the photos, you might noticed that mango and red beans are just common but what the photos didn’t show is the texture of the ice. Instead of calling it flakes, they called it slush.
Rather than rough and big chunk of ice, slush texture improves the dessert quality quite significantly. Try it once and I am sure you will amaze with the sensation. To me, I would give 9.8/10 as I never tried such a nice mango slush or red bean slush before.
Are these the only 2 desserts that are good? Of course not, this shop sells a broad variety of desserts and all are at reasonable price ranging from RMB 15 – 30. It is a perfect place to grab a quick recharge!
iTea
普照街96号, 辽宁省 大连市, 中国
Street 96, Liaoning Road, Dalian, China
GPS: 38.91962, 121.632535
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Do you ever have this mouse cheese fantasy before? Mouse cheese? Oh yea.. the fantasy of every mouse that will die for a bite of cheese. Talking about mouse and cheese, I never see Mickey or Minnie Mouse go after a slice of cheese. Did I miss something?
Forget about Disney fantasy as I am craving for a nice Taiwanese meal now. I am so craving for the food that I am an inch away from dying for it. Is it that bad? Definitely! By thinking about “Siu Long Pau” (Small Dragon Dumpling) already enough to make me drool!
While browsing through my photo albums, I come across DinTaiFung, a famous Taiwanese Restaurant that literally exists around the world. What’s so special about this shop?
Nothing special to me from the first sight despite they received various awards from famous food critics and appeared in major newspapers. All I know is the restaurant has a very cute dumpling mascot holding Siu Long Pau to welcome you.
The dumpling must be the signature dish and I am very positive that I will not be disappointed with it. Browsing through the menu makes me more hungry especially when comes to broad choices of food.
Not only they serve dumpling but various type of Taiwanese cuisines as well starting from variety of appetizers, meat dishes, vegetables, soups, desserts and drinks. Maybe I was just too hungry at that time.
I ordered the signature siu long pau, the original version and with crab eggs as my appetizers. A set of 5 pieces only costs about RMB 23 and RMB 29 respectively.
Although the taste is one of the best in Chinaso far but I still prefer siu long pau in Dragon-i @ Pavillion, KL. To me, the dumpling skin is still thick and I am not so impressed with the crab egg version!
Then I ordered traditional chicken soup, braised duck and wonton soup noodle. All these are world class quality. The herbal soup really soothes my throat and the potion is just nice for one person.
The braised duck is my favorite especially when it dips with the BBQ sauce. Normally, duck will have a very strong duck smell (..duh) but this one don’t and the meat is soft! Wanton soup is so so only and I ordered this just to ease my wanton cravings
What amazes me is this, “Eight Treasure Glutinous Rice”, a very unique dessert. It consists of kidney beans, red dates, lotus seeds, red beans, gingko and 3 more ingredients (which I forget … hehe). I am not a big fan of this but the presentation is totally impressed me.
After the dessert, I realized that my stomach still have empty space. So, before I leave this place, I ordered steam pork bun. Like usual, anything with pork always taste good. This one has no exception too!
All and all, I just paid about RMB 260 which is approximately RM 128 only. I do not mind paying extra if the food is delightful. This place is reasonable to me and I will definitely try other branches too!
DinTaiFung (Marina City Branch)
No.86, Aomen Road, Shinan District,
Qingdao, Shandong
TEL：+86 532 6606 1309
GPS: 36.060154,120.39321
Web: http://www.dintaifung.com.tw/
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How do you shorten your travel duration? You can either choose to fly, find alternate routes or teleport. The later one is not a joke if you can invent it. If you got one, tell me! I am more than willing to be the test guinea pig.
If you read my post on Jiaozhou Bay Bridge and Qing-Huang Tunnel, you probably aware that the travel duration shortens to 10 mins from Huangdao to Qingdao instead of 1 hour 30 minutes. What’s so significant?
Nothing really unless you are staying in Qingdao or Huangdao. To me, I see light at the end of tunnel too! Yea.. I have a chance to experience the Qing-Huang Tunnel lately while on my way to Qingdao Olympic Sailing Center.
By paying about RMB 30/trip to cross the tunnel, you are a step closer to a famous tourist spot back in 2008 during Beijing Olympic or even until now.
If you are interested in sailing, water ski, boat ride, this is the perfect place for you. If not, don’t get too upset as you still get to enjoy all international flags from the 2008 Olympic. Try not to be funny by asking me if they ever wash the flags!
The weather is a bit misty, windy and cooling. So, don’t get too upset if you fail to snap nice photos. Not far from here, there is a Olympic Sailing Museum which publishes pictorial footstep of Beijing 2008 Olympics Games.
The building is not as grand as the “Bird Nest” stadium but definitely astonishing and worth while to drop by.
While westerners busy inventing monocycle, China invented two-wheeled electric vehicle for leisure. Tourists have a chance to try it with only RMB 50 for 10 minutes.
Don’t have driving license? Don’t fret! It is as easy as 1, 2, 3. A joystick (batang gembira: direct translation from Malay) is used to maneuver the vehicle. It has self timer so you won’t get to go more than 10 min (smart Chinese isn’t it?)
4-wheeled cycle? 2 Seaters? 4 seaters? All you need is just cash to experience it. Rather than paddle by one person, you can opt to paddle with your partners too! Cool isn’t it?
Make sure you have regular exercise before go for this. I tried it for 1/2 hour and gosh, I cannot feel my leg anymore after that. All you need is just RMB 50 with deposit of RMB 200 for 1/2 hour ride.
Try the human cylindrical hamster ball floating on water. It looks fun but unfortunately, it has age restriction, only for age 12 and below. If you are over 12 like me, you can choose to play water at the man made fountain.
Before leaving this place, I managed to walk around various souvenirs shops. All souvenirs are very cheap ranging from RMB 5 – 50. At the end, your negotiation skill plays an important role here if want to get a good deal.
Tiring but loads of fun! That is how I describe this trip.
Qingdao Olympic Sailing Center
Aomen Road, Shinan,
Qingdao,Shandong,China
GPS: 36.060297,120.394063
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APPLE is famous not because of an old saying “an apple day keeps doctor away” or it hit Sir Isaac Newton in his head that led to the discovery of theory of gravity. It is still a fruit when someone mentioned “apple” before this but..
If you walk down the street and say “apple” today, first thing that comes in anyone’s mind is either iPhone, iPod, iMac, iTouch or anything that is related to Apple’s Product. All because of one person, Steve Jobs.
Martian might not know much about earth but if you are earthman, you might aware that that there are 3 breaking news that figuratively transmitted to every single corner in the world. i) Steve Jobs died on 5 Oct 2011 ii) iPhone 4s launched on 6 Oct 2011 iii) iOS 5 launched on 12 Oct 2011.
Nothing much I can do about i) besides sending my sincere condolences to his family. I did not have a chance to meet him in person but having his photos in my blog is a great honour. Since it takes awhile before I get to literally touch iPhone 4s, it did not bother me but iii) iOS 5 is something I am eyeing at.
If you still remember, I wrote about Jailbreak iPhone? Tethered or Untethered? long long time ago. Having Jailbreak is nice and dandy until the new iOS 5 is up! The update is not as straight forward as many might think.
Before you update your jailbreak iPhone, here are few consideration:
i) you will NOT be able to retain all jailbreak software that downloaded from Installous.
ii) NO untethered jailbreak for iOS 5 yet (but will be available soon!)
iii) it is better to install iOS 5 as NEW installation (Restore to Factory Default) than just update to avoid crashing or complication later.
If your answers are OK to all above, then you can continue reading 
else this post will only be useful when you plan to update it later when untethered jailbreak for iOS 5 is out.
Please backup your contact and other important stuff before you start. To computer of course just in case any surprises happen. I used ‘screenshot snap’ to back up as photos on important notes (press sleep button + home button) and copy to computer later (faster than sending it via email).
Here is how you backup your contact to PC:
- Open iTunes on your computer that you sync it to
- Plug in you iPhone to the computer
- Click on the phone icon on the left
- Click on the Info and under “Sync Contacs with”, then Select “Windows Contacts” or “Outlook” or etc
- Then at the bottom right of iTunes, click “Apply” and “Sync”. A message will pop up to ask if you would like to replace or merge. Make sure you select “MERGE” or it will delete all your phone contact.
*If you Sync with “Windows Contacts”, you can check if the contacts have backup in your pc, goto START–>RUN–>wab.exe . Your contacts should be there!
Just plug in your iPhone and click update in iTunes?? If you do so, you might get ‘Error 3195’ or ‘Error 3002’ while updating. It means your miss couple of important steps and lead major disaster that you are unable to restore device to previous version or worse still the phone works but unable to make a phone call after that.
That is because you did not safe SHSH when jailbreak it. To simplify what is SHSH, it is an encrypted signature issued by Apple everytime iTunes install or upgrades the iOS firmware. Once you jailbreak the phone, Apply is unable to grant permission to renew the signature (might be expired) when you want to update it later.
So, to avoid it, here is the fix for iPhone Jailbreak User.
- Download TinyUmbrella
- Launch it
- Click on the “Advanced” tab.
- Uncheck “Set Hosts to Cydia on Exit”
- Click on “Apply Changes”
- Reboot your PC/Mac.
If it doesn’t help, try another solution or if you are a non-jailbreak user
- Exit iTunes
- Locate your hosts file
- In Mac OS X /etc/hosts and In Windows c:\windows\system32\drivers\etc\hosts
- Open the hosts file with Administrator privileges using Notepad.
- Add the following lines to the very bottom of the hosts file:
- #74.208.105.171 gs.apple.com
- Connect your device to the computer
- Launch iTunes
- Put device into DFU Mode by turning your device off and then holding down the sleep and power button for 10 seconds, then release the power button but hold onto the home button until iTunes tells you that the device is now in recover mode
If you want you can remove the “#74.208.105.171 gs.apple.com” line from your hosts file again so that iTunes can properly update as usual.
OK, it is time to do the updating.
1. Open iTunes and click on your iPhone
2. Choose Update
3.Then download the iOS 5 update. So choose “Download Only”
4. Hold down shift + press restore. All data will be WIPED CLEAN and restore your phone to FACTORY DEFAULT
5. Select files from C:\Users\[your name]\AppData\Roaming\Apple Computer\iTunes\iPhone Software Updates (See Photo Above)
6. Click Open.
7. iTunes should do the rest.
The photos above are most of screenshots during the iOS 5 update. If you see it, you have SUCCESSFULLY installed iOS 5 on your jailbreak iPhone 4, it is just like a brand new phone. Now, you can repeat backup contact steps to sync your iPhone contact.
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Pen is mightier than sword. That is always the case when world is greatly relied on black and white to secure deals, honor agreements, execute plans, communicate thoughts and ideas .. bla bla bla ..
This is not true to Mr. Bob as he is illiterate. Knowing his own limitation, he works on his strength instead of moaning over his inability. He started to polish up his verbal skill and body language.
Within few months time, his communication skills have greatly improved. He can bends the truth, convince the world with his gesture and metaphorically, call the angel down from heaven.
Recently, he made a dent in the world by remarkably won The World Debating Championship and crowned the Best Speaker of the Century as he won all the preliminary and breaking rounds with his flowery speeches.
Many applause for his success and claimed he is gifted. He turned arrogant. He started to claim that he is unbeatable and hardly meets a great opponent. His supporters are very upset on his attitude but still acknowledge that he is the best.
One day he received a duel with mute. It was a tough fight but he was well prepared. To him, he doesn’t even consider that as a challenge as he is already mastered the sign language during his body language intensive training before. He won again!
His self confidence was growing sky high until one day….
He was invited to World China Debating Championship, smaller scale tournament as compare to the former one. Due to his unbeatable track record and the scale of this tournament, he went there unprepared due to his over self confidence.
Before the tournament starts, he loudly proclaimed that he will definitely be crowned as Best Speaker again right in front of the all the reporters, literally the whole world. “I won many tournaments before and there is no exception this time!”
As soon as he finished the first preliminary round, he raised a white flag and retired from the tournament. The whole world was in great surprise and it is all over the news. He left the room sighing and said “It is all in Chinese!”
Lesson Learnt: The world is round, same goes to fame. When you are up there, don’t forget that one day you might be down there again.
Mom used to tell me this, “There is always a higher mountain out there.” (Although I always thought there is only one – Everest )
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Broccoli with Mushrooms
Ingredients
340 g Broccoli (Cut small)
5 White button mushrooms (Small slices)
1 Onion (Thin slices)
1 tbsp Light soy sauce
½ tbsp Oyster sauce
1 tsp TikkoSS’s Secret Ingredient
¼ cup Warm water
1 tsp Cornflour (Mix with 3 tbsp of water)
Method
1. Boil broccoli in 1 L of water. Add 1 tbsp of oil and 1 tsp of salt into the water. (Notes: Adding oil into water will maintain the green of the vegetables and adding salt will add flavor to the vegetables) Drain the water and set aside.
2. Heat wok with 3 tbsp of oil. Fry onion until soft and fragrant.
3. Add mushrooms, follow with broccoli.
4. Add light soy sauce, oyster sauce, TikkoSS’s Secret Ingredient and warm water. Simmer the mixture for 5 minutes.
5. Finally, add mixture of cornflour and ready to be served.
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Orange Butter Cup Cake
Ingredients
200 g Butter
200 g Sugar
4 Egg yolks
Grated rind of one orange
½ tsp Vanilla Essence
170 g Self-raising flour
2 tbsp Milk powder
3 Egg whites with 1 teaspoon sugar, stiffly beaten
6 tbsp Orange juice
Method
1. Well beaten butter, sugar and egg yolk until creamy. Add the yolk one at a time to prevent curdling
2. Add orange rind, vanilla essence and orange juice
3. Fold in self-raising flour, milk powder and egg white to creamed mixture
4. Add cupcake paper into each cupcake mould. Pour creamed mixture into each mould about ¾ full.
5. Pre-heat oven to 180 deg. Bake cupcake for 10 minutes at 180 deg. Ready to be served.
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